It’s difficult to describe the reason why you love someone.
Perhaps it’s their wacky smile, maybe it’s their sharp wit; or maybe it’s just that they’re pleasant to spend time with. They’re just your kind of people.
Scientists aren’t usually content with such answers They’ve spent a long time trying to identify the specific elements that bring one individual to one another.
Below, we’ve summarized the most interesting discoveries. Find out more about the findings that will help you see your friendships currently in a fresh light and help you build stronger relationships, quicker.
1. Copy the person you’re currently with
Mirroring is a technique that’s known as mirroring. It is a method of mimicking a person’s behavior. When speaking to another person, try to copy the way they talk, their gestures or facial expressions.
The year 1999 was the first time New York University researchers observed in 1999 the ” chameleon effect” that occurs in the unintentional imitation of the behavior of one another. This mimicry helps to build a relationship.
Researchers made 72 women and men perform a task together with an accomplice. The coworkers (who were employed by those who conducted the research) either replicated the behaviour of the other or didn’t, while the researchers recorded their interactions.
After the discussion, participants were asked to rate how much they appreciated their companions.
It’s true that participants found it more probable to declare that they liked their partners when they was mimicking their behavior.
2. Spend more time with people you hope to meet.
According to the effects of exposure to light individuals tend to be like people that are close to them.
For a prime example of this kind of thing, psychologists from The University of Pittsburgh had four women pretend to be students in a psychology class. Each woman attended the class at a different number of times.
When the experimenters showed male students images of the women in the group The men showed more affinity towards the women they’d seen more frequently in class, even though they had not ever interacted with any of them.
3. Encourage others
People will be able to associate your adjectives to describe people with your personal characteristics. This is referred to as spontaneity in trait transference.
The research study that was published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology discovered that this effect existed even when people had knowledge of certain characteristics didn’t match the people who talked about them.
As per to Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, “whatever you say about other people influences how people see you”.
If you portray someone else as honest and caring, others will also think of you as having these characteristics. It’s the same with people who aren’t When you constantly making fun of people who aren’t Your friends will begin to identify the negative traits with you too.
4. Try to show positive emotions
Emotional contagion is the term used to describe the way that people can be highly affected by the moods of others. According to an research study from Ohio University and the University of Hawaii individuals are able to sense the moods of others who are around them.
Researchers behind the study claim that it could be because we’re naturally drawn to mimicking the movements of others and their facial expressions. This results in us feeling something like to the way they feel.
If you’d like to make others feel comfortable when you’re around them, do your best to express positive feelings.
5. Be friendly and knowledgeable.
Princeton University psychologists and their colleagues suggested an idea called the stereotypical content model. It is a concept that suggests people evaluate other people by their personality and their skills.
Based on to models, if it is possible to show yourself as warm, i.e. friendly, non-competitive and pleasant – people will feel that they are able to believe in you.
If you appear competent – such as having a high level of education or financial status, they’re more likely to admire your abilities.
Harvard psychologist Amy Cuddy says it’s crucial to be warm first, before being competent, especially in the workplace.
“From an evolutionary perspective,” Cuddy writes in her book “Presence,” she writes in her book, “it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust.”
6. Be honest about your shortcomings every now and then to time
Based on to”the effect of pratfalls people will be more enthused about you after you commit mistakes, but only if that you’re a competent individual. The fact that you admit that you’re not perfect can make you seem less likable, and more vulnerable towards those around you.
The researcher Elliot Aronson at the University of Texas, Austin first observed this phenomenon as he researched the ways in which simple errors could affect the perception of attraction.
He asked male students at The University of Minnesota to listen to tape recordings of individuals taking a test.
If people scored excellent on the test, but spilled coffee at conclusion of the test and the students gave them a rating more highly on their popularity than when they performed well on the test and did not spill coffee did not do very well on the test or spilled their coffee.
7. Focus on values that are shared
According to an old study conducted by Theodore Newcomb, people are attracted to those who look similar to them. This is known as the similarity-attraction effect.
In his study, Newcomb measured his subjects opinions on controversial subjects like sexuality as well as politics. Then, he placed them in the University of Michigan owned home to be together.
At the end of their stay, they enjoyed their roommates more when they shared similar views regarding the subjects they were surveyed.
It is interesting to note that the most recent study by researchers from researchers at the University of Virginia and Washington University in St. Louis found that Air Force recruits liked each with more if they shared the same negative traits as when they had positive traits.
8. Touch them lightly
Subliminal touch occurs when you touch someone in a way that they don’t notice. Examples include touching someone’s back, or tapping the arm of someone, and this may cause them to feel warmer towards you.
In an French research in France, young men sat on the street corners and spoke to women passing along. The men had twice the success rate when they struck up conversations when they gently touch the women’s arms while they spoke to them, instead of doing nothing whatsoever.
The University of Mississippi and Rhodes College experiment studied the impact of touch between people on tipping in restaurants, and allowed waitresses to briefly make contact with customers’ hands or shoulder when they returned their cash.
In the end, the waitresses who were able to earn significantly more tips than those who didn’t interact with their customers.
9. Smile
The results of an University of Wyoming study in which nearly 100 female undergraduates examined photos of another woman who was in one of the four postures: smile while in an open-body posture and smiling in a closed posture, and not smiling when in the open-body position or not smiling when in a closed body position.
The results suggested that the woman on the photo was most liked most when she smiled regardless of her body posture.
In the past, researchers from Stanford University and the University of Duisburg-Essen discovered the students who communicated via avatars had a positive experience with the interactions when avatars displayed an even smile.
Extra Bonus A different study found it’s possible that being friendly when first meeting someone can help ensure that they remember you in the future.
10. Find out how they would like to be perceived
People desire to be seen in a manner that is consistent with their views about themselves. This is the basis of self-verification theory. All of us want confirmation of our opinions, either both positive and negative.
In an series of research conducted at Stanford University and the University of Arizona Participants with positive and negative views about themselves were asked if they would prefer to be around people who had negative or positive perceptions of them.
Positive self-perceptions of participants liked people who were highly regarded of themselves, while those with negative self-images preferred those who were critical. This is likely due to the fact that people are drawn to be around people who offer feedback that is consistent with their identity.
Another study suggests that when other people’s views about us are in line with our own beliefs, our relationship with them goes more effortlessly. This is likely due to the fact that we feel valued as a crucial aspect of intimacy.
11. Share a secret with them.
Self-disclosure may be one of the best relationship-building techniques.
In a research conducted by researchers from the State University of New York at Stony Brook, the California Graduate School of Family Psychology and at the University of California, Santa Cruz as well as Arizona State University, college students were placed in pairs and instructed to for 45 minutes learning to meet each other.
Experimenters provided a few student pairs with a set of questions to inquire about, and the questions went deeper and more personal.
For instance, one of the questions that was posed to intermediate pairs consisted of “How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” The other pairs were asked small-talk questions. For instance, one question asked “What is your favourite holiday? Why?”
When the test, the students who’d been asking increasingly personal questions were more close to one another in comparison to those who were been talking about small things.
Try this method at your own pace while beginning to get to meet the person you’re getting to know. You can, for instance, begin by asking simple inquiries (like the last film they went to) to learning about the people who matter most to them. most to the person in their daily lives.
When you share intimate details with someone else you are much more likely to feel more close to you and would like to confide to you in the future.
12. You can show that you are able to protect their secrets, too.
Two research studies carried out by researchers at The University of Florida, Arizona State University as well as Singapore Management University found that people place a great value on trustworthiness and trustworthiness when it comes to their interactions.
Two of these traits were particularly significant when people were thinking of their ideal friend and employee.
As Suzanne Degges White of Northern Illinois University writes on PsychologyToday.com: “Trustworthiness is comprised of several components, including honesty, dependability, and loyalty, and while each is important to successful relationships, honesty and dependability have been identified as the most vital in the realm of friendships.”
13. Have a sense of humour
Research conducted by Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles found that regardless of whether individuals were contemplating their ideal partner or relationship partner, having the ability to laugh was crucial.
A different study conducted by researchers at DePaul University and Illinois State University discovered that using humor in the beginning of getting to get to know someone may help them like you more.
The study suggests that engaging in a fun task (like the idea of having someone wear blindfolds while the other person instructs them in dancing) could increase the romance.
14. Let them discuss themselves.
Harvard researchers recently found that discussing yourself could be a source of pleasure, in similar to how food or money are.
In one study, researchers asked participants to be seated in an fMRI machine as they responded to questions on their own opinions or other’s.
Participants were requested to bring an individual from their family to the test, who was not in the machine. In certain instances participants were informed that their answers could be shared with their friend or family member while in other cases the responses were kept confidential.
The results showed that brain regions that are associated with reward and motivation are most active when people were sharing information with others however, they also were engaged when speaking about themselves, without others listening.
So sharing an interesting story or two from their own life, instead of talking about yours may provide them with more pleasant memories of your interactions.
15. You might be a bit vulnerable
Writing for PsychologyToday.com, Jim Taylor from The University of San Francisco argues that the degree of emotional openness – or lack of it could explain the reason why 2 people do or do not click.
Yet Taylor admits:
“Emotional openness, of course, comes with risks that involve making yourself vulnerable and not knowing whether this emotional exposure will be accepted and reciprocated or rejected and deflected.”
It could be worth it The same Illinois State University and California State University at Los Angeles study mentioned above discovered that expressiveness and openness are essential qualities in perfect companions.
It doesn’t matter if that lover is romantic or an acquaintance.
16. Make it appear as if you are like them
Psychologists have known for quite a long time about a phenomenon known as ‘ reciprocity of liking when we believe that someone likes us, we will tend to also like them.
In one study in 1959 released in Human Relations, for example participants were informed that certain participants of an informal group discussion might enjoy their company. The participants were selected randomly by the researcher.
Following this discussion mentioned those they liked the most were those who actually liked them.
Researchers at researchers at the University of Waterloo and the University of Manitoba found that when we are expecting others to be accepting of us, we show more warmth toward them , increasing the likelihood that they will appreciate us.
Even if you’re not certain how the person you’re with thinks of you, behave like you’re enjoying them, and they’ll likely like you in return.
